The Beta-Assisted Honey Restoration
by ljkwriting4life
Summary: After a disappointing start to the Beta Test, Leonard enlists the help of Penny's dad to plan the perfect date. Set during The Beta Test Initiation and references the Boyfriend Complexity. (Lenny, Leonard POV)
1. Chapter 1

The Beta-Assisted Honey Restoration

*

By Leese

Rating: T (moderate-strong coarse language, moderate sexual references, mostly in chapter two)

Summary: After a disappointing start to the Beta Test, Leonard enlists the help of Penny's dad to plan the perfect date. Set during The Beta Test Initiation and references the Boyfriend Complexity. (Lenny, Leonard POV)

A/N: Two chapters only! I wanted to add to the whole Lenny conversation around the Beta Test, particularly its beginning, which just kind of happened on the sidelines for a while there! So Chapter 1 is set during The Beta Test Initiation in S5, and Chapter 2 is set immediately after. Featuring Wyatt!

Leonard's POV - it's not often I try to get up inside Leonard's head, but I'm probably more like Leonard than any of the gang, so this was kind of fun!

Additionally, there are some references in this first chapter to an episode of Friends (s2 'TOW The List'), which I know some people might not have seen because it aired in 1995/1996…so here's the low-down on that episode: wiki/The_One_With_The_List Also, the YouTube link in this chapter to a clip from the episode is also 'live' at the time of writing. As usual, I don't own the copyright to any of it. Enjoy! :-)

* 

Chapter One

* 

It was early morning and Leonard sat at his desk in his apartment, wrapped in his red dressing gown. He stared at the screen as it reloaded; he had just pressed 'refresh' on Facebook for the tenth time in ten minutes. It seemed nearly as frustrated as him. Slowly, the familiar blue banner and frame reappeared, along with the last message to Penny's father that Leonard had only just typed:

 _Hi Wyatt, it's Leonard. Can I call you sometime today? I have something I want to talk to you about. It's not urgent, just kind of important. Let me know a good time and the best number. Thank you!_

Leonard still wasn't sure he had used the right wording. Of course, he could have just waited a few hours and actually called Wyatt out of the blue, but Leonard hated doing that. He never liked to be interrupted during a task by the ringing of the phone, and so why inflict it on other people? Especially other people that he liked, and who he wanted to like him in return. Wyatt was probably a busy man; he didn't need Leonard putting him on the spot.

Still, would Wyatt panic? Would he think that something had happened to Penny? Leonard had tried to suggest not in saying that it wasn't urgent, but what would Wyatt think was meant by 'kind of important'? One day Leonard hoped to ask Wyatt for his blessing to marry Penny…how would he characterise that? Was that something that was 'very important', or was it 'something special' or 'just about the most important question I could ever ask you'? Whatever it was, it was definitely something more than 'kind of' important, right?

Leonard knew he was overthinking this tiny little message; he just hoped Wyatt wouldn't jump to conclusions.

It had been a sleepless night. Initially, Leonard had thought that giving Penny the beta-test list had gone down really well, but Sheldon and Amy had not seemed as enthusiastic, Amy in particular. 'What could you have possibly put on the list?' she had asked him. 'Hair too golden? Laugh too musical? World too much a better place for her mere presence in it?' Sheldon had made some comment about the way she talked with her mouth full sometimes, and Amy just retorted, 'Her heart's full of gold, no one cares what's in her mouth'.

It had taken half an hour for Leonard to start to feel that niggling, awkward feeling squirreling around in his gut, and then another hour for him to seriously question whether he had done the right thing. He felt guilty, that's what that sick feeling was. Amy's words kept playing over in his head, because Amy was right. Penny was beautiful, generous, and the world – his world, at least – was a far better place because she was in it. In fact, Leonard could not imagine his life without her, and trying to think about not seeing her or hearing from her every day was gut wrenching. He knew, because Priya had made him feel like he had to try. It was one of the only tests he had ever failed, and thank God, because he now had a very precious, fragile second chance.

That chance was also frayed, though, because Leonard had just given the woman he loved a graded list of all the things he didn't like about her.

'Amy,' he had asked before she went home for the evening. 'Do you think Penny might be mad at me for giving her the list?'

'You're only just figuring that out?' Amy asked in her usual deadpan voice.

'It's what we agreed on,' Leonard said. 'I put a lot of thought into it.' He was trying to defend himself but even he knew how pathetic it sounded.

Amy patted his arm, gave him a small, wise smile and leant in to say, 'When I get home, I'll send you a link to definitively answer your question'.

Leonard had waited, and sure enough as he sat in bed with his laptop on his lap he received a new Facebook message from Amy:

 _Leonard,_

 _Here is the answer to your question:_ _watch?v=7WPRAlJCaoM_

 _And just in case you were wondering, you can thank my lonely adolescence and now also Penny for my encyclopedic knowledge of Friends, and the fact that I'm therefore able to help you right now. Consider it Penny's indirect relationship advice. Not that I think it will be much help to you. My advice is to get on your knees and beg forgiveness from the Queen herself. Good night._

 _Amy._

Leonard was no stranger to Friends, the old television show. He knew it was one of Penny's lazy-day favourites and it had been a big-deal show back in the 1990s, but he didn't know what episode Amy was trying to direct him to and he obviously had not watched it as much as she had. He clicked on the link; it was a short clip. It was called 'Ross tries to win Rachel back after she finds the list'.

What list? Well, it didn't take a genius to figure it out. Without even starting the video Leonard was sure it was a list of Rachel's faults, because Ross and Rachel had that whole televised history of on-again-off-again and their infamous 'we were on a break' mantra, so maybe Ross had been wondering whether to be on-again and he'd made a pro-con list or something like that, and Rachel found it. Sitcom television wasn't particle physics, but this potential plotline did not bode well for him. Penny knew this show backwards.

Leonard had sat and watched the Friends video as Amy asked. He had watched Ross call into the radio station to apologise by playing U2's 'With or Without You'. Leonard had not heard that song in years, it was also a 1990s hit, but it was a great song and it always made him cry. It was just the sort of song he would play if he ever lost Penny again. It was even better than Alanis.

Rachel had not thought so, though. 'Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel,' the radio station announced, cutting in on U2's airtime. 'She told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore! Why don't we devote our time to a couple who stand a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.'

Leonard had watched the video clip multiple times during the night. Those words had removed any doubts he had about whether or not he made a smart decision. He certainly knew what Amy thought about it. Stupid, he thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. What if Penny also thought they didn't stand a chance?

We do stand a chance, Leonard insisted to himself. We do, we do, we do.

He didn't sleep. He didn't want to be 'on a break' with Penny ever again. He tossed and turned and tried to think about how to make this up to her. He didn't want to send her a late-night text message full of regret and apology; he wanted to be better than that, and Penny didn't like being interrupted from sleep. Leonard didn't think he was quite at the stage of getting onto his knees and wrapping his arms around her hips to literally beg…but he would do it if one day she told him she was walking away. Leonard could not let her do that. He did not want to be in a world without Penny. He loved Penny.

He loved her still. Even after a year and a half as 'just friends', and sometimes even less than that. Even after Priya, and all the times he had said to Priya that he loved her instead. Leonard had told other people that he loved Priya as well. Had he, though? Had he really? He had wanted to. He thought Priya had loved him, but he could see clearly in hindsight that she hadn't. She had tried to change him too much. She had only wanted to love him, too.

Penny was different. She had never tried to change him, not even a little bit. For Leonard, Penny was the real I've-never-felt-like-this-before-and-I-almost-can't-deal deal. Leonard hadn't written that anywhere on the list, though. He didn't want to scare Penny. He didn't want to push her, or rub his feelings in her face, but he also hadn't even given her a clue. Nope, Leonard had just given her a list of all the relatively insignificant things he thought SHE could do better. For HIM. Was that how people expressed love?

Granted, in his own defence he didn't have a lot of great examples to role model – his parents certainly were no help – but he was thinking 'no' would be the appropriate answer to that question. He felt inside the way that Ross looked on the outside in that video clip, and Leonard desperately wanted to fix things before they got any worse. He wanted to be the hero. He wanted to save this burgeoning relationship.

He wanted to be the kind of guy to walk purposefully into Penny's apartment, grip her shoulder and use a gentle, firm voice to wake her up and then say, 'Fuck the list, Penny. Honey, I love you'.

That was stupid too. Maybe in the future, a different argument, another time…

It took a few sleepless hours to come up with his next idea, and another few to get up the courage to type that message to Penny's father. Leonard had not spoken to Wyatt in nearly a year, but they were Facebook friends. Penny had never said anything about it; she of course could see that her father was one of their mutual online friends, but they had not been together and Leonard could be 'Facebook friends' with whomever he wanted… Leonard had never used it to his own advantage before, like he hoped to do now. He didn't know how Penny would feel about that, but Leonard thought that if it worked it could go well. It had to, because honestly, it couldn't get much worse, could it?

"Leonard," Sheldon said as he entered the kitchen to make his breakfast. "What are you doing at your desk? You're usually getting in the shower now."

"I'll go soon," Leonard said. "I was just…sending someone a message. I want to say hello to an old friend, so I'm trying to arrange a telephone call."

"Oh," Sheldon said with a dismissive sigh. After a beat he added more curiously, "Why don't you just call?"

"I don't want to intrude or interrupt his morning routine," Leonard said. Wyatt would probably be out on the farm after all. He might not reply for hours.

"That's strange," Sheldon mused. "You intrude all the time, and your need for constant validation and attention mean that you interrupt frequently."

Leonard let that one slide. Wyatt was different. On top of being a kind, funny, 'normal' guy, he was the father-in-law; the one Leonard wanted in his dreams anyway.

"Huh," Sheldon said.

"What?" Leonard asked, drawing his eyes away from the computer screen to his roommate. Sheldon was staring at him.

"I expected you to rebut, but I suppose you were choosing to prove a point?"

"Yeah, that's what it was," Leonard assured him wryly. He sighed and looked back to the screen. Why wouldn't Wyatt reply? Leonard wanted to talk to someone who could give him some plain-speaking advice. He wanted someone who knew instinctively and who accepted how he felt about Penny, without Leonard having to defend his feelings or put them out there into the world when some people weren't ready to hear it…like Penny, for example. Wyatt was the next best thing, and odd as it may have been, Leonard liked and trusted him.

 _Seen 06.11._

Leonard's eyes went wide when, after another jab of the 'refresh' button, he found a tick beneath his message, and that single word and time-stamp. Wyatt had read his message more than twenty minutes earlier. Damn you Facebook and your lazy interface, Leonard cursed silently. He bit his bottom lip and stared, willing Wyatt to type a reply. What could have been taking so long? Surely Leonard had asked a pretty straightforward yes-or-no question, and if Wyatt had checked on his mobile over breakfast or while he was out with the cows it should have been easy enough to reply. Unless maybe he had gloves on, or he wanted to talk to Penny's mom first…or maybe he might even be calling Penny to find out why Leonard would be messaging him?

God, I hope that's not it, Leonard thought. Penny probably already hated him enough.

"Dots, dots, we have dots!" Leonard exclaimed excitedly when he saw it, the moving marker suggesting that Wyatt was in the middle of typing a reply. Sheldon came to stand behind him.

"Wyatt? Who is Wyatt? What kind of name is Wyatt? It reminds me of Texas-"

"What kind of name is Sheldon? Wyatt is just a friend, like I said."

Sheldon leant down closer and intruded on Leonard's personal space to get a closer look at the conversation. Leonard had nothing to hide by his message, it was perfectly cryptic, but Sheldon still found a way to figure things out.

"I find that highly improbable, Leonard; his profile picture is a man fishing, and you don't fish. Having shared hobbies and interests is a mark of a solid friendship…wait, I've seen him before," Sheldon said. "That's Penny's father."

"How do you know that?" Leonard asked, stunned. Sheldon's lips twitched in a smug little smirk. He took great pleasure in stating the obvious.

"There's a picture of him and Penny on her fridge. Haven't you seen it?"

"Of course I have."

"Leonard, why are you asking Penny's father if you can call him?"

"Never mind," Leonard said as he hit 'refresh' again. Sure enough, there was Wyatt's reply:

 _Hey Leonard! ! ! Long time! I'll give you my mobile number – call anytime! ! ! Wyatt._

"I see he uses punctuation as freely as Penny uses her breasts to get her way," Sheldon said plainly.

"Ha-ha," Leonard huffed, secretly pleased by the number of exclamation marks he saw in Wyatt's short reply. That reflected enthusiasm, and perhaps an urgency and a genuine desire for contact on the older man's part. Leonard relaxed and took a deep breath for the first time in what felt like hours. This was going to be okay, he assured himself. He could figure this out.

He waited until he was safely tucked away at work, in private, to call Wyatt.

"Hello Sir, it's-"

"Leonard! I'd know that voice anywhere. I thought I told you last time, none of that 'Sir' business."

"Sorry Wyatt, it's been a while," Leonard said. He sat at his desk and bit his bottom lip. "How are you?"

"Tip-top," Wyatt said happily, eagerly. "Now, how are you? How's my girl? What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Um…well Penny's good," Leonard said. "I'm…a bit concerned I might have upset her, and I want to plan an evening out to let her know how much I care about her without actually telling her that. I wanted to ask you if there's any fun stuff she likes doing that maybe she wouldn't have told me about."

"So is this for a daaate?" Wyatt asked. His tone was deep and cautious, but still curious and light enough to be teasing at the same time. "Please say yes."

"Yeah, a date," Leonard said. He cleared his throat awkwardly, but could almost feel Wyatt grinning down the phone. "We were both single again, friends, and I saw her the other day and I just knew I didn't want to wait anymore. So I asked Penny out, Wyatt, and we're just kind of taking things slow, but I'll be honest with you…I really want this to work. However, I think I stuffed up and it's still so new – again – that I'm worried that Penny will, uh-"

"Use it as an excuse to cut her losses?"

"Decide I'm not worth the trouble, yes," Leonard said on a deep sigh. "I know this must be kind of weird, me calling you for advice about dating your daughter, but um…I…I love her, Sir."

"Oh brother," Wyatt sighed into the phone, chuckling.

"I know that's probably the wrong thing to say to you, and way too soon, but-"

"Leonard, relax!" Wyatt said, laughing more easily all of a sudden. "The 'oh brother' was because you called me Sir again. It's a reflex with you, isn't it? I'm not an idiot, I know you love Penny, I know you're in love with her."

"You uh, you do? Because when you met me, we really were broken up."

"I know that too, but you were always doin' thoughtful stuff for her, like helping to pay for her visits back home and being a constant in her life even after she dumped you. And Hell, Penny only broke up with you 'cos she got scared of what it would mean to start makin' promises…she's young and she's got some growing up to do. But she told her momma everything and so I got told everything…I knew you'd told Penny you loved her before I met you, and once I spent some time with you, I knew you still loved her. I think it's great."

"You uh, you do?" Leonard asked again, more hopefully than before.

"Of course!" Wyatt said happily. "You're a good man and you're good for my daughter; the best thing in her life after her mom and me, I'd say…though to be honest Penny would probably put us all 'round the other way. So…you asked her out again, she said yes, and you screwed up right out of the gate."

"Pretty much," Leonard said. "I don't know how bad it is yet. I've just got a really bad feeling that I'm in for it the next time I see her. We're meant to be going out tonight, and I really, really want it to go well. I want her to be happy."

"Told ya it was in the cards," Wyatt said smugly. "Am I psychic or what?"

"Well it might not be that way for much longer," Leonard said. "If I lose her now, again, I think that's it, but I've never had to deal with that feeling before Wyatt…I don't want to come across as desperate or, like, begging for forgiveness."

"Even though that's what you wanna do," he said.

"Well yeah," Leonard replied, forcing himself to chuckle since Wyatt was doing his best to lighten the mood. "So I want to plan a fun, no-pressure night out that will surprise her and, well, maybe something that reminds her of home and family and something she can really enjoy. Maybe something she used to like doing as a kid, but doesn't get a chance to do much anymore?"

"Well," Wyatt said with another laugh. "When she was young, I convinced her that if she shoved her little body into a cow hard enough she could tip it over. They say not to torture your kids, but damn, it was funny. Got the home videos to prove it. This little eight year old kid getting all up in your tamest, fattest cow's business tryin' to tip it. She went non-stop, insisting she could do it. Still does. One day when you and Penny have kids, you'll have to bring 'em out because I am gonna need to try that trick on the next generation."

"You're getting ahead of yourself – and us – there Wyatt," Leonard said, even though a smile had plastered itself firmly over his face. Wyatt sounded so sure that everything was going to work out, and in the long-term too, that it made Leonard feel much better about what hopefully was just a minor setback. Besides, he could totally picture a little brown-haired girl and maybe a boy with blonde hair, both with Penny's big green eyes, trudging around a Nebraskan farm arguing over whether or not it was scientifically possible to tip a cow. Strong and stubborn Penny might even join in, trying to help the kids prove their Grandpa wrong while he laughed and videotaped them in the mud.

Leonard hadn't seen pictures or video of Penny as a little girl before. Now, he had to. Not that he was going to get ahead of himself again of course!

Not 'out loud', anyway.

"You still there, Leonard?" Wyatt asked suddenly.

"Oh, yeah sorry," Leonard said. He cleared his throat. "Sorry Wyatt, just uh, thinking that there aren't many cows here in Pasadena."

"Got another idea for you," Wyatt said. "I'm not sure how you're gonna like it, but I know you're not much of an outdoorsman and this is an indoor activity."

"Try me," Leonard said.

"I used to take her to the shooting range," Wyatt said seriously. "Our Penny is a fine shot, and she loved it. Now, I know you're a New Jersey city-fella but don't get me wrong, we're not some gun-totin' outback militia family-"

"I know that Wyatt," Leonard assured him. "It's a good idea. I mean I've never actually been to a real-life shooting range, but with video games and stuff…I know Penny's got a good aim and I don't think I'd be too bad at it."

Leonard thought about the photo of Penny and her father on her fridge, the one Sheldon had reminded him of that morning. It was Penny and Wyatt at the shooting range. He couldn't believe he had missed that; it was perfect.

"Penny's going to be better at it than you," Wyatt warned. "But Leonard, you always struck me as the kind of man to not mind so much about that. Some of the losers my little girl has brought home, y'know, they never would have taken her to a place like that unless they knew they were a better aim, to show off to her, and maybe they'd let her win once or twice to get in her good books, but secretly they'd know they were always gonna be better…Penny used to let them get away with that crap too. Man, I hate those guys."

"I do too, Wyatt," Leonard said with a tense jaw. He hated the thought of Penny ever being in a relationship like that again. She would have to be the one to claw her way out, of course, but he couldn't sit by and watch it unfold.

"You're not like that, Leonard, and I think that's a real good thing," Wyatt continued. "You and Penny, you're equals, you're a team, and friends! As much as her mom and I miss her, she's growin' up out there with you, and I know she's in good hands even on the days she's probably driving you 'round the bend, am I right? That's an important thing for a father to know. I'm real glad you didn't give up on her during your break. I'm real proud of you son."

"Wow, thanks Wyatt," Leonard said softly. His heart hammered in his chest. No one had called him son; no one had said they were proud of him…in years. Sometimes his mother called him 'my son' but not in the same way. To Beverley Hofstadter 'son' was just a noun, not a reflection of Leonard's own unique person and any maternal feelings she might have towards him. So it felt like a big deal for Wyatt to say it, even if Wyatt was the kind of man who would not think it was a big deal at all; he was just telling it like it was, in the sincere and down-to-earth way he approached just about everything.

Leonard liked these people, this family. All he had ever dreamed of was to be a part of a family where people said, 'I love you' and 'I'm proud of you'. Could this be it? Had he found them? God I hope so, he thought. Pretty-please yes!

"I appreciate you saying all of that Wyatt," Leonard said. Penny had described her dad as a man of few words. Ha! "I never gave up on Penny and I won't. I can't. I just have to make sure that uh, well, that she doesn't give up on me."

"Look, she was an idiot to let you go, son," Wyatt said. "Her mom and I both agree on that…and Penny knows it too…we told her. Even before I met you."

"I'm sure Penny appreciated you pointing that out to her, Wyatt," Leonard quipped, causing the older man to laugh knowingly. Yeah, she hadn't.

"So," Wyatt said good-naturedly. "Got a pen and paper on ya? I'm now going to tell you what sort of gun to start off with, what ammo to ask for, so that you can walk into that shooting range and look completely in control. You'll impress and surprise the Hell outta her. She won't forget whatever you did and you're gonna have to sort it out amongst yourselves, but she's gonna be happy and have fun…and that's all this dad wants. Tell her that you called me yeah? Don't be shy, son. You're the only bloke who's ever bothered. Ready?"

"I'm ready," Leonard said. He was terrified, but he had also never been more excited. Nothing said 'I still love you, please don't leave me' than heading to a shooting range before taking in dinner and a movie, right? Penny was worth it. 

**  
***TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The Beta-Assisted Honey Restoration: Chapter Two

*

 _Well? ? ?_

That was the not-too-subtle message from Wyatt on Facebook that Leonard returned to after his date with Penny. He had hobbled from the front door to his room, past whatever Sheldon and Amy were doing dressed as a stereotypical German and a navy seal for 'Fun with Flags'. He didn't ask questions any more, and he really couldn't care less that night in particular.

By the time Leonard reached his room he was grinning uncontrollably because, oh God, Penny had just kissed him goodnight. He felt giddy. She was happy! The way she had looked at him and chewed briefly on her bottom lip before taking his jaw in her hand and leaning in… 'Goodnight you,' she had said after the kiss. Augh, his poor nerdy heart was thumping for joy.

Leonard understood that Penny might not have been able to say 'I love you' when they were dating the first time, and maybe she wouldn't be able to say it for months and months, but he was certain he had seen love in those green eyes just moments earlier. If not the 'in love' kind of love, then the deeply affectionate puppy-type love that he was just as happy to accept if it meant he could be near her, and kiss her, and take pleasure from loving her himself.

Calm down Leonard, he told himself on a deep breath. The night had gone really well, considering it could have been a disaster, and he could finally let go of the uber-nerves that had been building all day. Leonard was reassured that with some thought and care, not every mistake they each made from hereon in had to end in a huge fight. He felt better about the process as a whole, and sat on the edge of his bed to reach for his laptop. He wanted to quickly message Wyatt, but he soon saw that Wyatt had beaten him to it:

 _Well? ? ?_

Leonard chuckled and typed quickly:

 _Hi Wyatt._

 _We had a really nice night, and I think we're okay now. Penny loved the shooting range! (Just in case you're worried, that's not the only reason we're okay though – we talked, obviously.) Thanks for the advice…and also, thanks for making me feel comfortable and telling me not to give up, the last time we met. I really appreciated that. I won't let you down. Penny says goodnight._

 _Leonard._

He wasn't sure why he had added that last bit. It wasn't as though Penny was sitting there next to him, privy to this whole exchange, but she was Wyatt's daughter and Leonard thought it was the polite thing to do, reinforcing that she was okay and in good hands. It was obvious that Wyatt worried about Penny, she was far from home but she was safe. She was always going to be safe. Besides, if Penny were there, then that's exactly what she would have asked him to add. Leonard just hoped that Wyatt didn't think it was creepy.

Was it creepy? Or more presumptuous?

Leonard decided he was going to have a shower instead of overthinking again. Sheldon would complain about the water use at such a late hour, but he was still in the living room in lederhosen and socks that reminded Leonard of his Uncle Floyd, so really what did it matter if Leonard needed some alone time with the hot water? Considering how worried he had been about the list, and Penny's reaction, and how much he had ignorantly insulted her, and whether she might decide he wasn't worth it…it was worth it. He was worth it.

Before he went to the shower, Leonard remembered something that he had said to Wyatt the first time they met.

'Gee, I don't know if it's in the cards, Sir.'

'Then stack the deck!' Wyatt had said. 'Cheat, lie, I don't care. I want grandkids before I die and I want them to grow up in a house without wheels.'

Well, that would very likely happen whether Leonard was involved or not, but Wyatt had parroted Leonard's own words back to him on the phone earlier as well. 'Told ya it was in the cards,' he had said.

Leonard could not help himself. He reached for his laptop one more time, even though he knew that Wyatt would be fast asleep; at least this would make him smile over his breakfast the next day.

 _PS. I think it's in the cards this time, Wyatt. I hope so anyway. Thanks. L._

Over half an hour later, Leonard emerged from a long shower and returned to his room wrapped in his robe and with a fresh bandaid on his pinkie toe. He pulled down the covers, preparing for a few hours of deep sleep mixed with sweet dreams about Penny. Not the sort of fantasies he'd just spent his time in the bathroom creating, while biting his lip so that he didn't moan too loudly as they had sex in his head. Nope, he was going to dream about the boring stuff now, he knew it. This was how it always went and he was used to it.

It wasn't a bad kind of boring, but Penny always featured prominently in his everyday, 'regular', non-sexy dreams, even when they had been broken up. In his dreams, dream-Leonard always thought, 'I should tell Penny that', they had lengthy conversations sometimes, or if he had a nightmare she was always in it…usually saving his ass or taking his hand to show him the quickest way out of the maze or away from the robot killer. Some nights she just turned up inside his head with Chinese food, and that was cool too. He would rather be actually awake for the other stuff anyway, and while he didn't necessarily believe that his dreams were 'special messages' about his life and how it should or would turn out, there was a little voice inside him that argued that the mind and consciousness was such an unknown area of science, unexplored, immeasurable in so many ways, that he could never really dismiss that idea either.

He would never tell Penny that…she would drag him straight to her psychic for another stupid reading! They, of course, were total hooey.

Leonard fell asleep, but at some stage during the night a hand firmly grasped his shoulder and a voice whispered his name. It woke him. Leonard's startled mind supplied an immediate answer; this was him, fulfilling his earlier desire, the desire to be the kind of guy to walk purposefully into Penny's apartment, grip her shoulder and use a gentle, firm voice to wake her up and then say, 'Fuck the list, honey I love you'. It was the same hand, the same voice…

Leonard scrunched up his face when he woke up well enough to realise that idea was absurd. He WAS himself; he wasn't Penny, and he couldn't both be in his bed and be in Penny's room at the same time.

Yet his subconscious had discovered enough in those few seconds in the dark to be half-right, and it quickly made the necessary corrections to reveal the truth. It was Penny's hand on his shoulder; it was Penny's voice urging him to wake up. She was kneeling on the mattress beside his hips and the mattress had dipped inwards, Leonard was turned slightly towards her.

Instead of Leonard storming into her apartment in the middle of the night, she had wandered into his. Fancy that.

"Penny," he mumbled without opening his eyes. Her touch had softened almost as though she could see his facial expressions changing in the dark well enough to realize he was awake. Maybe she could, he didn't know. He could smell her rose-water perfume. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Bad dream?"

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. Leonard nodded and started to sit up. He reached for the lamp but Penny's arm shot out and her hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him. At first the movement was jerky, awkward, because neither of them were used to this anymore. They were in his bed, it was dark…it was weird for them. "No lights," Penny whispered. Her voice shook only very slightly and her touch softened as she found his hand and gripped it. She returned their joined hands and outstretched arms to the space between them on the mattress and shuffled forward on her knees, until they were sitting side by side up against the headboard.

"Want some blanket?" Leonard asked.

"Thanks," Penny said. Silently, they rustled around with the quilt until it covered both of their raised knees. She reached for his hand again. It was the only part of them touching even though they were undeniably in an extremely intimate position, as far as Leonard was concerned anyway.

This was his chance to say 'fuck the list, honey', perhaps.

"Penny," he whispered before she could begin. "I want to say sorry properly. I shouldn't have given you a list of things I thought you should be doing better, as though it's your job to be some kind of ideal girlfriend for me…if that's how it came off…I was overthinking and being pedantic which is something I'd already said I would try to work on, and I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Leonard, stop," Penny said. She brought his hand into her lap, on top of the blankets, and covered his fingers with her other hand as well. Leonard immediately felt warm and safe, and like he'd been forgiven. "I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here right now, and I know it's not about the list, but for what it's worth I'm sorry about mine too. I was being petty when I wrote it…and none of it is deal-breaking. I can teach you to give me neck and back massages just the way I like it. I don't think it will take very long either…from memory, when it comes to this body and what it enjoys you're a fast learner."

"Well I would like that very much," Leonard choked out in response to her smug whisper. "If you, you know, gave me some pointers."

Was this growth, he wondered? Or just maybe he was still dreaming. Whatever was going on, it felt oddly domestic and yet also just a little bit sexual? He had the urge to put his glasses on as though that would help him understand, but he didn't; he wasn't moving away from Penny anytime soon!

"You know," Penny continued. "You're actually the only guy I've dated who ever even offered to give me a neck massage. I didn't put that on the list."

"There are lots of things I didn't put on mine either," he said. "Good things. Really, really good things, Penny."

"Can you give me an example?" she asked hopefully, quietly. "Just one. I know I woke you up, it doesn't have to be-"

"No, I've got one," he assured her. "You're never afraid to have a hard conversation with me. I might be too scared to start those kinds of talks because they don't always end well in the short-term, but we both know we have to get it done to make 'this' better…and historically you've been the one who will start it, even if you think it will hurt you – that I'll hurt you – and that's really brave. I'm trying to be okay doing that more often too, so we're equals."

"You think I'm brave?" Penny asked curiously as she looked sideways at him. "And your equal?" she asked. Leonard thought that in the dark he saw a half-smile playing on her lips. He nodded in earnest, hoping that she could see his open, dark brown eyes. His heart was hammering painfully against his chest. He still had no idea what she was doing here, or what was going to happen, or whether there was anything left to say. He didn't know what to say.

"I do," he managed in a choked whisper. She was much braver than he was; she had to know it. Penny gripped his hand tightly in both of hers.

"I don't know about that," she said after a moment's silence. "I don't think too many boyfriends would be calling up their girlfriend's father for dating advice."

Leonard sucked in a nervous breath and tried to be cool and casual.

"I just wanted to know if there was anything fun you liked doing that wasn't the usual dinner and a movie. I didn't exactly plan on dinner being vending machine potato chips in the emergency room…"

"Well dad thought in a few years it would make a funny story, if it makes you feel better."

Leonard finally realised where this was all coming from. Penny had spoken to Wyatt. Oh God, what had they told each other?

"It doesn't," he said in a deadpan voice, as Penny giggled softly. "Shh, Sheldon," Leonard added, even though he didn't really need to tell her that.

"Sorry," she said needlessly, re-squeezing his hand. Leonard could get used to this. It was new again, he was still nervous, but it was also nice. He knew this Penny. He hadn't seen her in a long time, but he _knew_ her.

I love you, he said inside his head, the only place those words were allowed.

"So," he actually voiced. He licked his lips and looked at her in the dark. "You talked to your dad tonight?"

"Yeah," she replied. "He didn't call me, he wasn't checking up on us or anything like that! I uh…I called him. I just wanted to say thank you, and to say hello…it's been awhile since I really spoke to him and tonight just reminded me of that. It was late and I woke him up but I don't think he minded, and then I wanted to talk to you so I figured, well, I've already woken up one man tonight, what's one more?"

"I don't mind," Leonard said happily as he smiled. "So 'in a few years' it'll be funny. Your dad knows we're suspended from the shooting range?"

"Yeah, that part was embarrassing to tell him," Penny said with another little giggle. "Then I told him why. I said, 'Leonard was being so sweet, so I kissed him while he was holding the gun, and it went off'…and then I had to listen to my dad lecture me on how I could have been killed because I couldn't keep my hands off you! Can you imagine?"

"I can, actually," Leonard said as he winced. He hoped he didn't get the same lecture via Facebook in the morning, but at least if he did he would be prepared with a groveling apology, especially necessary since he had told Wyatt that the date had gone really well and Penny had loved it. Woops!

It had gone well in the end though, because he was sitting in bed and sharing a blanket with Penny, and she was holding his hand while they just talked.

Hang on, he thought. He could change this up a little bit if he wanted to.

"Penny," he whispered. "Here." With his free hand he confidently reached over and brought her hands over to his lap for awhile. It was his turn now. He linked their fingers together and they playfully wrapped their four hands up to the point where in the dark he didn't know his from hers. "Thanks," he said in a droll voice before she could talk. "My other hand was getting cold."

Penny laughed and he saw the flash of her teeth as she grinned. She shifted on the mattress too, and wiggled slightly nearer.

"Leonard, sweetie, I want to take this slow," she said. "That's what I told dad tonight, and I really meant it. What we agreed on, this Beta Test-"

"I'm fine with slow," he assured her, even though a part of him really, really thought the opposite. Another part of him was also a little worried, though, because in reality Penny had never come into his room in the middle of the night like this before. It was unusual. "Penny," he whispered as his thumb brushed over her knuckles. "Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Y-y-yeah," she said as her eyes darted towards him. "I…I wanted to tell you, to warn you I suppose, that I'm a little bit scared, and I might get a lot scared, sometimes. I want to ask that you don't take it personally because I'm really excited about this too…I know I made a joke the other day on the stairs when you said you'd missed me but I…I missed you too."

"Are you sure you didn't just miss the sex?" Leonard asked, teasing her by echoing back something similar to what she had said to him. Penny chuckled and leant sideways to nudge his shoulder with her own.

"Well have you tried sex with you?" she joked in return. "It's pretty incredible."

"I have, but it's always better with someone you lo-uuuh…have a really good connection with."

Crap, he thought. He had been about to say 'love' again. This was going to become a real problem. He would have to start some kind of daily mantra to try to train himself to keep quiet, or maybe he would only let it out when the pounding of the shower water could drown him out. It had been a pathetic save on his part too. A good connection? What on earth was that supposed to mean? They had something much better than a 'good connection', dammit!

Penny had snorted a little with laughter and Leonard felt himself blush. Annoying tears stung his eyes and he looked skywards to blink them away. God-dammit! This was meant to be confident, cocky, take-charge-Leonard?

What a joke.

"Shh," Penny whispered. "It's okay." To Leonard's surprise, she leant inwards and rested her head on his shoulder. She untangled one of her hands from his and encouraged him to wrap his now-free arm around her and hold her close, which he did all the while holding his breath just in case time suddenly stopped and he got sucked into a black hole. That's almost what it felt like, to have Penny hugging him, softly soothing him. Like maybe she understood.

"Sorry," he whispered, again apologizing for something he didn't need to apologise for, which was exactly what she had pointed out at the shooting range. What a moron.

"Don't be sorry," Penny said quietly. "You're really great, and I don't want anything more to happen tonight than this, but I just wanted to be here."

"Why?" Leonard risked asking. He never asked Sheldon that question, but he liked asking Penny 'why' for lots of things; she always came up with the most interesting and sometimes really thoughtful or unexpected responses.

"Dad said something to me," she said. "It upset me."

"That I could have killed you?"

"Not exactly. Just how if that had happened, how upset you'd have been, and I didn't like the picture of that he painted for me in my head. Then he asked me what if you'd been shot through the leg and were genuinely in hospital for a day or two, or worse…how I would feel; he was angry at me for risking it."

"He was just worried," Leonard whispered. "He loves you and he worries and that's what dads are supposed to do, right?"

"I guess. He promised he wouldn't tell mom. She'd whoop my ass."

"Ah, that's where you get it from, is it?" Leonard asked, teasing his lips against her ear as Penny chuckled. He took another risk and kissed her cheek, so lightly that she either didn't feel it for sure or didn't mind. Whatever; she didn't tell him to stop or pull away, so he pulled away on his own and leant his head on top of hers. They breathed steadily, calmly, for a few long minutes.

"You know," Leonard finally said. "Your dad's right."

"Are you going to lecture me now?"

"Noooo," he said on a nervous chuckle as he rubbed his hand up and down her far upper arm, her bare skin soft and warm. "I just mean that I'm glad I got shot in the toe, and I'd be pretty happy if I'd been shot in the leg too. Because if it had been you, if it had been more serious then your dad's right, I'd be-"

"Don't say it," Penny said quickly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Leonard pulled her closer and truly hugged her then. "I'm sorry your dad upset you with that," he whispered. "It didn't even occur to me."

"At all?" Penny asked. She lifted her head long enough to stare at him with a scrunched up face and wide eyes. She was close enough to him that she wasn't blurry at all. Leonard smiled and shrugged.

"Nope," he said. "I've just been replaying those two kisses over and over in my head…haven't had much room for anything else. You know…I was thinking that you may not be good for my productivity…" He drew out his smirk and wiggled his eyebrows, and Penny giggled. It was loud enough to carry through the walls and they both froze, wide-eyed, and waited.

Nothing.

"I should go," Penny whispered very softly.

"Do you have to?" Leonard asked. One of his hands was still linked with hers and he gripped it tightly. "A little longer?"

"No," Penny said on a sigh. "I just…this sounds stupid but I just wanted to see you again-"

"That's not stupid."

"It's stupid because we see each other every day."

"Not like this we don't," Leonard told her. That was exactly what he had been trying to convey to her after their last date, when he said that he had missed her and she brushed him off. He knew she felt it! Penny sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to remember that," she replied. Slowly, regretfully, she let go of his hands and sat back from him a little. She tucked her hair behind her ears and offered him a sad but hopeful sort of smile, which he saw more in her glistening eyes than the rest of her face in the dark.

"You know I'm all in here," Leonard said seriously but with a degree of caution. He didn't want to say anything that sounded too close to 'I love you', but he wanted to reassure her as well. "It's okay if you get scared, Penny," he added. "Just talk to me about it? Like you did tonight? I would like that."

"I will," Penny assured him. "I want to."

"Also," Leonard went on. "Tell me when I'm being an idiot, it might be often, and as this goes forward with the whole 'taking it slow' thing…you set the pace, okay? I want to date you Penny, regularly, exclusively, but I don't want to pressure you. I don't want there to be any confusion, and I want us to give this a genuine, scary, grown-up, second-chance, all-in kind of try."

He held his breath. He hoped that was the right balance of the take-charge confidence he had been working on for her, and respect and patience too.

"I think I can do that," Penny said with a soft smile. "You trust me, don't you?"

"Well, I'd have trusted you with my life up until a few hours ago when you-"

-kissed me, Leonard thought, as Penny all of a sudden pressed her lips to his in a repeat of the kiss they had briefly shared at the shooting range. This time, no gun. Leonard was sitting back against the headboard and Penny held his shoulders and t-shirt to steady herself, without her torso touching his. It was agony, right up until the moment they parted and took a small breath, because the kiss that almost immediately followed was softer; their lips gently parted and suckled and at the sound of Penny's soft mewling Leonard moaned.

That was when she pulled away, which was also what he had meant by 'brave'; she had just saved them both from something they weren't ready for.

"Sorry," she whispered. "That won't happen again for awhile. But just one more thing before I go, and I don't want you to read too much into this, okay?"

"O-kay," Leonard said cautiously. Penny clambered away from him across the mattress again and took the blanket and sheet along with her. She then found his right ankle and slid her hands around his sock to remove the thick wool covering until it was almost the entire way off.

Leonard watched as Penny's face disappeared beneath a veil of hair that tickled his shin and the soft arch of his foot. She pressed her lips to his injured toe in a series of childish, 'get well' kisses. Leonard had to bite his bottom lip to hold in his grin and stop himself from fidgeting from the warmth. Penny soon carefully returned his sock to his foot, got off the bed, and half-heartedly handed him the blankets so he could tuck himself in. After all, he wasn't their child. There was plenty of time for all that, because they were taking it _slow_.

"Feels better already," he quipped.

"Yeah-yeah," she said. Penny huffed like she was embarrassed by what she had just done, but Leonard thought it was adorable and loving. The whole night she had been totally present with him; warm and playful and heartfelt, and he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and keep her with him forever.

But Penny was setting the pace on this Beta Test, and that meant only visiting the frightening domesticated fantasies he'd been having in his dreams. Still, like he'd thought earlier again, he had some control. Instead of pulling her back towards him so that he could feel her, he reached over and turned on the lamp, so that he could finally see her. Penny rubbed her eyes and huffed again, but she also blushed. Leonard watched her with a thoughtful frown.

"I want to say something before you go," he said seriously. "I don't know how to say it. It's not like 'thank you' but…it's good to see you, to really see you, Penny. I hope you know what I mean. I did miss this. I'm glad you came."

"Me too," Penny said. Leonard went to stand but she stopped him. "Don't get up," she said. She leant over him for a hug, which was awkward with him sitting in bed and her standing beside the bed, but they still held on for seven mississippis, and Leonard shut his eyes and treasured every one of them.

"Well, sleep tight Leonard," Penny said in a forcibly casual, this-whole-thing-has-been-no-big-deal voice. "And don't worry about my dad getting mad at you. I'm the one who should have known better. He really likes you. I do too."

"Sweet dreams," Leonard said with a smile, as he leant over his raised knees and watched her back out of his room. He grinned at how cute and sexy she looked in her pink pyjamas trying to be all stealth. Fuck it, he thought. "See you in the morning, honey," he added just as she eased the door open. He sang it, teasing her. And honestly, he would be seeing her in the morning!

Penny glared over her shoulder, and then gave him a coy, playful air kiss.

Oh yeah, the pet name was back, and he was the one bringing it.

Soon alone in his room and with the light on, Leonard waited until he thought he heard the front door close. Sheldon remained undisturbed. Leonard quickly found his phone and opened his Facebook App, and sure enough there was a late-night message from Wyatt, written most likely just after he got off the phone with his daughter. Leonard dreaded the inevitable lecture about gun safety and the disappointment in Wyatt's words, but he just had to read it:

 _Well what more can I say? I like you Leonard. "You got this." Glad to be of service. Wyatt._

Leonard grinned and wiggled his toes. Sometimes real life was way sweeter than dreams.

*


End file.
